Last year I had the best intentions. I started a new blog. I set big lofty goals. I was motivated to be more productive and more creative.
And I fell flat on my face.
Yes, last year I fell into the same trap many of us do. The calendar was about to flip, the new year was about to start and as I reflected on 2017, I couldn’t help but think about all the time I wasted, all of the things I wanted to accomplish but didn’t. I thought about all of the things I wanted to learn, the projects I wanted to make, the goals I set for myself and I was pissed that I didn’t accomplish shit.
I was determined to change. It was time to set some resolutions.
I started the website you are looking at right now on Dec. 29 and I vowed 2018 would be different. I challenged myself to create something every day, and I put it in writing. Then I scolded myself on this same website for all the things I didn’t finish in 2017, hoping to motivate myself to push through all the road blocks and finish what I started in 2018.
And I fell flat on my face.
I had good days and bad days in my 2018 quest to create every day. I started a 365 photo project (make a photo to post to the social media or this website every day for a year), I wrote a bunch of blog post on this site and on my running blog (some are pretty good, some are total garbage), I was creative at work because the job calls for it.
But like so many other things, I ran out of steam. My 365 photo project died on Day 141. The haven’t posted anything on this blog since Aug. 13. I was still creative at work because it pays the bills and I still wrote on my running blog, but all those huge creative plans fizzled out and died.
Looking back, I feel guilty that I let distractions get the best of me. I feel bad that my tendency is to not finish what I started. I feel like I failed.
I fell flat on my face.
On the last day of 2018, the year I was supposed to create every day, I am again taking the opportunity to reflect. What worked. What didn’t. I’m also looking ahead to the flip of the calendar and 2019. Tomorrow is just another day, it’s just the calendar that is different, but a new year is always feels like a good time to start fresh.
So what do I have planned for 2019?
Well, sort of.
Instead of setting big lofty goals for things I want to do or things I want to create in the new year, I’m trying something new. I’m trying to create habits. Each month I plan to set a few habit based goals for myself. I’ll see what sticks and what doesn’t, hopefully create some new habits that will help me be healthier, happier, more productive and more creative.
Really, my No. 1 goal for 2019 is to be better. To get stronger and be a better runner. To learn. To be better at my job. To be a better friend, son, brother, uncle. Hopefully, creating small habits that change my routine for the better will help me reach that goal of being better.
This year I have no big plans (well, except for this one). I have made no promises to myself. I won’t feel bad for not accomplishing some big, lofty goal that was just some arbitrary thing I told myself I wanted to do.
This year, my focus is just to make small changes that will hopefully lead to big changes down the road.
That way, maybe I won’t fall flat on my face.